On the other hand, it's also the reason you loose touch with your other friends. If you have someone who isn't going to say no when you are interested in something, and everyone else is always saying no, eventually, you just get sick of hearing no. So you stop asking.
I invited everyone I know in Halifax, less Carla and Damian ofcourse, to go to a pub and watch UFC tonight. Every person said no. So even if you aren't all that into it, you'd still be at a pub.... I'm tired of asking. I'm tired of hearing no.
This must be why people say that once you 'couple up' you end up gravitating towards other couples; they get it.
I was reading an article about things to do after you get married, and one of the things it said was to be sure you spend time with your single friends, even if they want to go man-hunting (it suggests to play wing-man in that scenario). The thing is that I don't totally agree with the article. I have no interest in playing wing-man for anyone. I went though it for myself for far too many years. I don't want to just laze around doing nothing every Saturday night (in order to 'relax') - I want to do something I enjoy.
I know that not everything I enjoy is enjoyed by others, and that I don't enjoy what they may,
but what do I do when I'm not interested in doing the same things my friends are used to me doing? And even if everyone wants to do same thing, it's hard enough to coordinate our two lives and schedules, but then to coordinate with everyone elses' is so much work. And then to be expected to drive every time I or we have plans? Ick.It's a transition, and I know that. It's not easy. But I"m tired of being the one to ask people to do things, and then when I do being told no.
I'm glad I have a busy summer ahead of me. Less stress.
Tina said something a couple of weeks ago in her blog about how no one can make you feel a certain way. I disagree. I've been made to feel guilty a million times over by many different people, only because I'm nice enough to want to try and please everyone. WTF? So I should feel worse because it's my own fault I feel guilty? Like hell. Her point has a place, but it also needs the proper perspective.
Ugh. So tired. And PMSing (can't you tell?).
But hey - I enjoyed UFC with my fiancee. Looking forward to doing again with other people next time... I just need to make friends with some people who have similar interests. I don't do arts or crafts, I don't ogle men (anymore, although I enjoyed it when I did). I'm interested in school, and camping, and kayaking, and golf, and playing games with groups of people, and being able to go out downtown and have a drink or two without having to drive home, and planning my future, planning my wedding and my family.
Do you remember the story about the one who made bread, and no one would help her, but they all wanted to eat it at the end? I sometimes wonder if that's the way it'll be when I have a baby. Everyone who didn't want to be involved in the wedding, or was annoyed with me because Adam takes up a part of my life that was once free, or even be there when I'm pregnant... all these people will want to come visit me in the hospital when the baby is born, and be there to hold him and coo at him. I wonder if that's how all new parent's feel? Do they fell their little one is a spectacle?
I guess I'm just changing. And I'm happy about it. But I have a feeling I'll end up grieving certain things at some point. This is just my cranky-ass way of dealing with it.
