I've always heard that planning a wedding is a stressful time, but I hadn't experienced it until recently. Mainly, it's the bridesmaids.
Yesterday Krystal told me she wasn't sure what she was going to do about the no-kids-at-the-wedding thing. When I asked what she meant she said she hadn't decided if she was going to be able to be a bridesmaid anymore or not. I opted to play the adult and told her she had until the end of the week to decide, and that I would respect her choice. She called me 5 hours later and launched right into bridesmaid stuff an when I made her explain herself she said the Mike (the BF) told her she was being stupid and to cut it out. So she did. No apology, but I made her tell me that there would be no more guilt trips about it, and that that would be the last I heard about it.
During all this, I was stressing out big time, and getting really upset, and in turn Adam was getting upset, and it all sucked. Big time. I don't get what I did that made me not deserve the wedding things that every other gal gets. I mean, no one threw us an engagement party (or even wanted to get together to go out to dinner with us), there were no (oh-so-pretty) engagement cards (every time I walk by them now I think that 'I'll never get one of those'), and no one has taken any interest at all. Don't get me wrong, Adam and I love being engaged, and we love doing the wedding ourselves, but it would have been nice if people had been nice enough to want to celebrate with us instead of ignore it or give a passing "Congrats". I distinctly remember a couple of people saying that we'll celebrate our engagement once Ellen and Shawn's wedding was over, since everyone was busy and "wedding-ed out". Well, that never happened. And furthermore, do you know how insulting it is when someone says their tired of weddings so they don't want to hear about your new engagement? Or a family that doesn't have time to be happy with you?
When anyone thinks about being engaged, they don't think their friends will do nothing, they think their friends will want to help them celebrate. They don't think they'll have to enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime event by themselves.
Don't get me wrong, people love to stick their noses in and tell me to slow down and that I have tons of time to plan, and that I shouldn't be in such a rush, and why am I worried about it already? You know what - stop not-helping people. If you're not willing to celebrate with me, don't think you have any right to criticize me, or that I want to hear your un-involved opinion. Adam can attest - this crap has been bothering me for months and months. And I'm tired of it. Even he said yesterday that I've been short-changed in the wedding-happy-girl world, and he's right. And I bloody well hate it.
I don't know, things like this have been bothering for a long long time, and this weekend was the last straw. If you can't be happy for me, and want to celebrate with me, what makes you think you should even be invited? Out of social obligation? On the most important day of our lives? I don't think so. Freg that. Friendship and consideration is a two way street.
